July 1st, 2005

Cat fight!

I'm watching my friend's cat Sumi and my cats have gone all the tragic events of 6-29 in here. The cats have gone crazy. While Fizz was in hiding in the bomb shelter (in spare room- behind mattress) he came across some sort of white goop that he proceeded to get all over his face*. Avocado has been playing Godzilla kitty for 2 days - you know, puffing up her tail to be weeeeaally scaaaawy. Meanwhile Sumi is cool as a cucumber salad, lounging in the window or when she's feeling really bold, just laying smack dab in the middle of the living room floor. Avo and Fizz never met another cat, I think they thought they were the only ones. And now they're hissing at each other too, as if to say to Sumi "If we can do this to each other just imagine what we will do to you." But really all they will do is hide because they're wimps.

*Does anyone remember in High School when girls were getting ready to fight they put vaseline on their faces to ease the scratching that might ensue? Or did you have to grow up in Sheepshead Bay for that?

I'm creeping up on Rachel Ray

I was checking out the popular preorders on Amazon and of course Rachel Ray is number 1. But look, just a few steps behind her at number 13, who's that? Oh! It's me! Totally sneaking up ninja-like. Which means if we had just, oh I don't know, 3000% more television time we would probably be at some number above number one. They'd have to invent a new number.