May 24th, 2005

The Tofu Mafia has spoken

This article contains some of the most ridiculous statements on vegetarianism that I've heard since, oh, I don't know, 1989. And it's written by a former vegetarian who now eats fish. That's fine, eat fish but don't act all oppressed over it. I wouldn't care if it were someone's livejournal but this is an actual essay in The Village Voice.

It starts out fine, she's vegetarian, tired of people asking her what she eats, explaining why she still wears leather (a pretty lousy explanation if you're an ethical vegetarian but if you're a dietary veg then ok fine) but then comes the excuses, rationalizations and imagined victimization:

"Except the problem now is I can't hack it as a vegetarian either. What can I say? New York is sushi city, and sushi is the one thing I've consistently craved over the past decade (besides the secret craving of every vegetarian: bacon). "

For someone who claims to sympathize with the vegetarian 3rd degree why would you profess to speak for all vegetarians the world over by saying that they crave dead smoked pigs ass?  And then comes this:

 "In my lame defense, it's very hard to be a girl and say you won't eat something. Refuse one plate of bacon-wrapped pork rinds and you're an anorexic. Accept them and you're on Atkins. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and you're bulimic. Best to keep perfectly still and bring an IV of fluids with you to dinner. "

So eating meat is a feminist response to the impossible dietary standards placed on us? I have a better idea: think for yourself. It's a very simple solution for insecurity, when you go to the bathroom remember that most people aren't judging you and most likely don't care what you are going to do in there. Or try to only dine with people that aren't quite so shallow.

Then comes some more stuff about how fish don't feel pain (bullshit) written in a cutesy manner and then this:

"The truth is I'm not particularly sure why I don't eat meat anymore. Any well-educated carnivore could easily thrash me in a debate on the subject—but not dissuade me. "

The thing that bugs me here is how would a carnivore beat anyone in a debate? I have never, ever heard a good argument that was strictly pro eating meat. The thing that it always comes down to is "meat tastes good" or "broccoli feels pain". Is there anyone who argues that eating meat somehow benefits society? The environment? Maybe there are poor health arguments I guess but those are easily dismissed.

"Except now I have to be careful not to make them in the company of hardcore vegetarians. I still consider myself a vegetarian, but after this little confession the tofu mafia will cast me out. "

Just inexplicable and more playing the victim. Cast out? Tofu mafia? If you eat fish you are not a vegetarian. It's not some elitist thing, it's just that fish is meat, there is nothing that we can do about that, save for creating fish seeds that grow vegetable fishes. Just admit you're a hypocrite (most people are) stop lashing out at vegetarians for your problems and move on, you're making all pescatarians look like morons.